Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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