yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
