Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
