It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
