I should be sponsored by Trojan
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
