Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
