i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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