turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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