so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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