Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
