I can tuck mytits in my pants
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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