3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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