He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
