I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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