You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
