I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I can text with my tongue
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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