and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
