Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
