I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How external is "for external use only"?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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