I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
