i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
