His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
