We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize