Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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