I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
