just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
