i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
