God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The air taste purple.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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