the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
