Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
