my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
