oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
