First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
