yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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