He asked me if I "almost moaned"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
