Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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