Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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