i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
