I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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