well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Terrible idea I love it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
