Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
PANTIES FOUND
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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