We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
