At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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