Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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