Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
