If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
