Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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