Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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