My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
