It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
