If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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