what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
