I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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