Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
