he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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