i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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