In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
