3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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