i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
