was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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